沙雕又可爱的朋友圈短句_很有意思的搞笑句子
1、I'm a mature person. I don't eat until I'm full
2、一男子要跳楼，刚赶回来的妻子喊道：“别冲动，我们的路还长着呢！”男子听后，立刻跳了下去。站在旁边的谈判专家说：“太太，你真不应该这样吓他！”
3、Ever since I saw your photo of registered residence， I know that it is so simple to give up a love person.
4、天下没有不散的宴席，但如果你请客，我可以陪你多吃一会
5、希望所有的事都和长胖一样简单。
6、What is the current situation: going to bed late， getting up early， working overtime for a long time， can you be specific: no car， no room， no deposit， can you be more specific: poor
7、想染粉色头发 请问是漂的时候头皮比较疼 还是被我爸发现后挨打比较疼
8、今晚月色真美好，想吃麦辣鸡腿堡
9、女：我真的不会接受你的！别送我礼物了！男生：不怕，我买的都是两元店里的，不费钱。
10、若不是你突然闯进我生活，月底我至少还剩两百多
11、The electric car was stolen in the community. I angrily scolded the property: "what's the use of installing monitoring！" The security guard said weakly， "let…… Let you have a last look at the electric car?"
12、Why quarrel? Can't we sit down calmly and cut each other a few knives?
13、你身上的每一寸赘肉，都是向生活妥协的标志。
14、Others fall in love by looks， routines and money. And I'm much simpler. I'm blind only by each other.
15、学生时代最亲切的一句话，来来来，作业放中间一起 抄。
16、"I miss the past. At that time， the sky was very blue and the water was very clear. Women would laugh when sitting in the back of their bicycles." God replied， "because most people couldn't afford bicycles at that time."
17、乐观的态度是很重要，可是，你也不能天天傻乐吧
18、没什么才艺 给大家跳段街舞吧 ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ
19、The most worthy of evaluation in this Olympic Games is not the athletes who have been injured but still work hard， but the referees who are blind but still physically disabled and determined to stick to their posts.
20、电动车在小区被偷了，我怒斥物业：“你们装监控有什么用！”保安弱弱的说：“让…让你看电动车最后一眼?”
21、世间鲜有真可爱者 老子就是其中一个
22、有人问我皮肤为什么黑，真搞笑，一白遮百丑，你白是为了遮丑，我又不丑。
23、我是个比较成熟的人 像赌气不吃东西这种事 都是吃饱后才做的
24、People who have been dissatisfied with their hair style and figure have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a face problem.
25、自从看了你户籍照片，才知道原来放弃一个喜欢的人，这么简单。
26、以前一直以为自己是全世界最美的女人，直到我遇到了刘亦菲才发现原来是我们俩
27、公主病的成因就两个：不是长得丑就是穷。那又漂亮又有钱的呢?别逗了，那不是病，那就是公主。
28、Look in the mirror while you're looking good. After all， this illusion doesn't exist every day. Opportunities are rare and cherished.
29、Someone asked me why my skin is black. It's funny. One white covers all the ugliness. You're white to cover the ugliness， but I'm not ugly.
30、如果有人很讨厌我，讨厌到想拿钱雇人打我的地步了的话，我想跟你说，你把钱打给我，只要钱到位了，我连自己都打。
31、You can't copy the answers when doing your homework， because once you copy the answers， you will find that you can not only write fast， but also be very happy.
32、我来考考你的数学 请问你的电话号码数字是多少
33、别人谈恋爱靠长相，靠套路，靠花钱。而我就单纯多了，只靠对方眼瞎。
34、Every inch of your fat is a sign of compromise to life.
35、曾经我也是靠脸吃饭的人，后来差点饿死，还是得学会用筷子。
36、假如生活欺骗了你，不要着急，拿出美颜相机，去欺骗生活。
37、我终于还是变成了自己最讨厌的那种人，我从小就讨厌长得好看的人。
38、If I have any shortcomings， just tell me and I'll zoom in to show you.
39、一看见别人挣钱就眼红，但自己又没本事，所以只好改变方向，闭上眼睛不看。
40、你不喜欢我没有关系，毕竟不是人人都有好品味。
41、当今社会，生米煮成熟饭已经没有用了，就算变成爆米花，该跑的还是会跑。
42、The most anti detection creature in the world is mother-in-law！ Hide your daughter casually. You have to find it for decades！ Even if you're Conan.
43、Mom: you see， your house is like a pig's nest. You haven't cleaned it up yet！ Me: have you ever seen a pig clean a house? Not all pigs.
44、I used to eat on my face. Later， I almost starved to death. I still had to learn to use chopsticks.
45、老妈：你看你屋子像猪窝一样，还不收拾收拾！我：你见过猪会收拾房子吗?不都是养猪的收拾。
46、我这野马不识归途，但你这小人我必须铲除。
47、为了不辜负今天这样的好天气。来篮球场了。打球的人特别多，果然捡了不少矿泉水瓶。
48、做作业时不能抄答案，因为你一旦抄了答案，你就会发现不仅写得快还很快乐。
49、I asked for sick leave to see a doctor. When I got to the hospital， the doctor gave me a stomachache. Doctor: I don't have this medicine. Please change your illness！
50、你得感激给你提意见的人，他们自己过得不咋地，还要替你操心。
51、Buy a new mobile phone with facial recognition unlocking screen. Sometimes the unlocking failure tells me that the face matching is not successful， which I can accept. Sometimes it goes too far to say that the face is not detected！
52、I was jealous when I saw others making money， but I didn't have the ability， so I had to change my direction and close my eyes.
53、这个年代喜欢谁就是应该去表白，别整那些花花事儿，爱就要说出来，这样你才能更快更准确的知道你没戏。
54、这个奥运会最值得评价的不是得了伤病却依旧努力比赛的运动员，而是双目失明，却依旧身残志坚坚守岗位的裁判。
55、男：“世界这么大，何必抓着我不放?你有你的生活，我有我的自由，放手才是真。”女：“你拿了东西还没给钱就想走?”
56、一直对发型和身材不满意的人，有一个共同点：不肯承认这是脸的问题。
57、The kindest words of my student days， come and go， put your homework in the middle and copy it together.
58、Like a person， try to chase， love and express. Even if you are rejected， beaten and hurt， don't give up easily. After more than a dozen failures， you will stop.
59、你骂我，肯定是因为你不够了解我，因为那些了解我的人，都想砍我。
60、发，说，说，可，以，通，过，加，逗，号，让，别，人，读，的，很，慢，很，慢
61、问：如何判断一个男人的灵魂得到升华，人格得到提升，待人处事开始成熟呢?答：当这个男人觉得洗碗是一种乐趣时。
62、新买个手机，带面部识别解锁屏幕的。有时候解锁失败告诉我人脸匹配不成功，这我还能接受，还有时候说未检测到人脸，这就过分了！
63、趁好看的时候多照照镜子，毕竟这种错觉不是每天都有的，机会难得，且有且珍惜。
64、愚公家门口有两座山，他决心把山移走，智叟笑他：人的生命就那么长，怎么可能呢?愚公正色道：我死了以后，还有儿子，儿子死了，还有孙子，子子孙孙无穷匮也，总会把山移走的。天帝听到这番话很感动，派了两个精壮威猛的大力士，来帮他们家生儿子。
65、今天的我你爱理不理，明天的我你还爱理不理，不是你这人咋这么没礼貌呢
66、Optimistic attitude is very important， but you can't be silly every day
67、据研究表明，长得好看的女生要比一般女生好看一些。
68、I don't know the way home， but I must eradicate you.
69、我对老妈说：“天天在家吃都吃腻了，要不今天去外面吃?”老妈想了想，点了点头。然后给我盛了一碗饭让我一个人去外面院子里吃。
70、Woman: I really won't accept you！ Don't give me a present！ Boy: I'm not afraid. I bought it in the two yuan store. It doesn't cost money.
71、小时候我们都很快乐，因为那个时候我们，丑和穷得都还不是那么明显
72、为什么要吵架呢?难道我们就不能心平气和地坐下来砍对方几刀吗?
73、My wife said I was sixteen generations younger than her！ I asked her why she said that. She said that I had married her after eight lifetimes. She said that she had been unlucky for eight lifetimes and married me！
74、我有什么缺点你尽管说，我放大给你看。
75、请病假去看病，到了医院，医生我胃痛。医生：没有这个药了，你换个病吧！
76、别的女孩换衣服：轻解罗裳；我换衣服：给猪松绑
77、“想念过去的年代，那时候，天很蓝，水很清，女人坐在自行车后座也会笑。”神回复：“因为那时候大部分人买不起自行车。”
78、You have to be grateful to the people who give you advice. They don't do well themselves and have to worry about you.
79、何为现状：晚睡，早起，长加班，可否具体：没车，没房，没存款，可否再具体：穷
80、如果你不和我谈恋爱，你就永远到不了快乐星球
81、不管你们都混的什么圈子，我混的黑眼圈
82、如果你喜欢上一个帅哥，请不要立刻采取措施，你应该先慢慢了解他，不久后，你会发现他的朋友更帅。
83、It doesn't matter if you don't like me. After all， not everyone has good taste.
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